I was good at praying at one point in my life; when I was in my undergraduate degree I would pray often, most of it would be without words, and God was never really far from my mind. It was a source of great joy and comfort for me, and I look back to that time as when I caught a glimpse of God. It’s the kind of experience that I am incredibly grateful to have had, and am incredibly grateful to have a community that can assure me that I am not strange for it.
I am no longer good at praying. I have tried over the past few years to get back into it, but how can I possibly have a methodical way to get back to praying spontaneously without words? And what good is prayer anyway? I’m not even sure how I feel about intercessory prayer, and if God is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent –
I need to stop there. Lent is a time for turning around in your life, and since I do not pray and therefore have a hard time even being able to tell if I’m far away from God, this is something I feel like I need to do.
What I have decided to do this lent is a prayer journal. So far, the thing I have noticed is that I have been writing down a lot about God in creation. I hope to notice more as I go along, and think more on how my Lenten discipline of praying with a prayer journal is going in my next blog posts. Is anyone else having any interesting insights in their Lenten discipline? Does anyone else have a hard time with prayer?