This is sad psalm with no relief. And when I read it this morning, my first thought was “Enough already! I should have made this only last one week. Enough of lament and sadness.”
But then I sat longer, and remembered that almost every person I have spoken to this week has been sad. Sad about missed graduation ceremonies, and online classes for the foreseeable future. Sad about funerals they couldn’t attend, and weddings that are postponed. Sad about everything. And as one person said to me, “I can’t be positive any longer. That is taking up too much energy that I need just to cope.”
As a culture (and as a church) we run from prolonged sadness. We want to re-frame it, make it better, see the positive. So maybe this “over-the-top” sad and guilt-ridden psalm is necessary for me to sit with. Because the psalmist may feel that G-d is angry with them – but maybe they just feel guilty because of society’s discomfort? And I at least needed a reminder today that everything is still not OK, and mostly we are all still sad.
(And those prayers from Iona, that I chose for today way back before ever starting these reflections, turned out to be exactly what I needed this morning.)
1 O Lord, God of my salvation,
when, at night, I cry out in your presence,
2 let my prayer come before you;
incline your ear to my cry.
3 For my soul is full of troubles,
and my life draws near to Sheol.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the Pit;
I am like those who have no help,
5 like those forsaken among the dead,
like the slain that lie in the grave,
like those whom you remember no more,
for they are cut off from your hand.
6 You have put me in the depths of the Pit,
in the regions dark and deep.
7 Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
and you overwhelm me with all your waves. Selah
8 You have caused my companions to shun me;
you have made me a thing of horror to them.
I am shut in so that I cannot escape;
9 my eye grows dim through sorrow.
Every day I call on you, O Lord;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you work wonders for the dead?
Do the shades rise up to praise you? Selah
11 Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
or your faithfulness in Abaddon?
12 Are your wonders known in the darkness,
or your saving help in the land of forgetfulness?
13 But I, O Lord, cry out to you;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 O Lord, why do you cast me off?
Why do you hide your face from me?
15 Wretched and close to death from my youth up,
I suffer your terrors; I am desperate.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your dread assaults destroy me.
17 They surround me like a flood all day long;
from all sides they close in on me.
18 You have caused friend and neighbour to shun me;
my companions are in darkness.
Pray…
from the BAS: O Lord, when we are plunged into the darkness of despair, make known to us the wonders of your grace, for you alone are God and from you comes all our help and strength. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ.
Portions of this psalm were in the lectionary readings for this past Sunday – so there is a familiarity in reading it this morning. But there is a familiarity anyway, as I enter the second week of praying some of these psalms of lament. We continue to hear the psalmist crying out to G-d, and the remembrance that G-d has acted in the past, so surely will once again.
This morning the psalmist says, “Keep watch over my life, for I am faithful.” Yes, as in yesterday’s prayer, to cry out to G-d is to expect a response from G-d who created us and loves us. (In the words of last Sunday’s gospel reading, every hair on our head is counted by G-d!) To cry out is be faithful.
The reminder today is perhaps to simply stay the course. Keep praying. Keep lamenting. Keep remembering the mighty deeds of G-d in our own lives, as well as in the story of G-d’s people. Expect G-d to act. Hang on!
1 Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Preserve my life, for I am devoted to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to you do I cry all day long.
4 Gladden the soul of your servant,
for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
5 For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving,
abounding in steadfast love to all who call on you.
6 Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;
listen to my cry of supplication.
7 In the day of my trouble I call on you,
for you will answer me.
8 There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,
nor are there any works like yours.
9 All the nations you have made shall come
and bow down before you, O Lord,
and shall glorify your name.
10 For you are great and do wondrous things;
you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O Lord,
that I may walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart to revere your name.
12 I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
and I will glorify your name for ever.
13 For great is your steadfast love towards me;
you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.
14 O God, the insolent rise up against me;
a band of ruffians seeks my life,
and they do not set you before them.
15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me;
give your strength to your servant;
save the child of your serving-maid.
17 Show me a sign of your favour,
so that those who hate me may see it and be put to shame,
because you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.
Pray…
From the BAS: God of mercy, fill us with the love of your name, and help us to proclaim you before the world, that all peoples may celebrate your glory in Jesus Christ our Lord.
Sometimes I think we feel guilty when we remain stuck in complaining mode. Or when we are sad and cannot seem to find a way out of that (and I am not talking about clinical depression here – that is a different beast.) We feel that keeping the faith means being joyful and that when we cannot do that, we should at least be quiet.
I feel that way often. When I read the psalm this morning, I felt guilt at those words, “I refuse to be comforted”. Oh. Yeah. That’s me. Heading into a second week of lamentation and prayer. Relentlessly seeing the losses and the negative side of things. Refusing to be comforted.
But it is Job who refuses to be comforted elsewhere in Scripture. Despite repeated attempts by his friends, he dismisses their explanations of the losses he has suffered. No, he says, I cannot accept any of that. This has happened and it is TERRIBLE.
And G-d affirms this response. It is the friends who are rebuked by G-d, not Job. Job’s refusal to be comforted is in fact an example of his faith, his inability to give up on his trust in G-d.
So if you, like me, are refusing to be comforted, maybe we are following in Job’s shoes. Maybe affirming G-d’s past deeds and mighty acts is not in contrast to lamenting the current reality. Maybe the memory of all G-d has done previously is what causes us to raise our voices to G-d now, even in protest. Turns out following that call to complain may also be an act of faith.
1 I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, that he may hear me.
2 In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
3 I think of God, and I moan;
I meditate, and my spirit faints. Selah
4 You keep my eyelids from closing;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5 I consider the days of old,
and remember the years of long ago.
6 I commune with my heart in the night;
I meditate and search my spirit:
7 ‘Will the Lord spurn for ever,
and never again be favourable?
8 Has his steadfast love ceased for ever?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?’ Selah
10 And I say, ‘It is my grief
that the right hand of the Most High has changed.’
11 I will call to mind the deeds of the Lord;
I will remember your wonders of old.
12 I will meditate on all your work,
and muse on your mighty deeds.
13 Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is so great as our God?
14 You are the God who works wonders;
you have displayed your might among the peoples.
15 With your strong arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
16 When the waters saw you, O God,
when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
the very deep trembled.
17 The clouds poured out water;
the skies thundered;
your arrows flashed on every side.
18 The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
your lightnings lit up the world;
the earth trembled and shook.
19 Your way was through the sea,
your path, through the mighty waters;
yet your footprints were unseen.
20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
Pray…
from the BAS: God of saving power, remember us in times of sorrow and despair. Redeem us with your strength and guide us through the wilderness. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ.
Today is the feast of St. Alban – and the 21st anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood. So perhaps it fits that what I notice this morning in the psalm is that the enemies being referred to are religious…
“Let the table before them be a trap and their sacred feasts a snare” – (verse 11 in A LITURGICAL PSALTER)
The psalmist goes on to talk about how these people “add to the pain of those you have pierced”. Kinda sounds like Jesus talking about the Pharisees in Matthew 23:4 (“They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others; but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them.”)
It is such a privilege to be ordained. Such gift that people allow you so deeply into their lives to walk with them in sorrow and in joy. And it is so easy to become blinded by the position and to forget that G-d is in these people’s lives without my involvement!
So this is a warning. And, after listening to “Cold Waters” and dissolving into tears, a reminder that we ordained folks walk our own journeys also, and we need to be honest about that, without laying it as a burden on the people we love and serve.
May G-d grant me the privilege of continued ministry as a priest, and the reminder to be cautious, and grateful.
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.
3 I am weary with my crying;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.
4 More in number than the hairs of my head
are those who hate me without cause;
many are those who would destroy me,
my enemies who accuse me falsely.
What I did not steal
must I now restore?
5 O God, you know my folly;
the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.
6 Do not let those who hope in you be put to shame because of me,
O Lord God of hosts;
do not let those who seek you be dishonoured because of me,
O God of Israel.
7 It is for your sake that I have borne reproach,
that shame has covered my face.
8 I have become a stranger to my kindred,
an alien to my mother’s children.
9 It is zeal for your house that has consumed me;
the insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.
10 When I humbled my soul with fasting,
they insulted me for doing so.
11 When I made sackcloth my clothing,
I became a byword to them.
12 I am the subject of gossip for those who sit in the gate,
and the drunkards make songs about me.
13 But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love, answer me.
With your faithful help 14rescue me
from sinking in the mire;
let me be delivered from my enemies
and from the deep waters.
15 Do not let the flood sweep over me,
or the deep swallow me up,
or the Pit close its mouth over me.
16 Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good;
according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
17 Do not hide your face from your servant,
for I am in distress—make haste to answer me.
18 Draw near to me, redeem me,
set me free because of my enemies.
19 You know the insults I receive,
and my shame and dishonour;
my foes are all known to you.
20 Insults have broken my heart,
so that I am in despair.
I looked for pity, but there was none;
and for comforters, but I found none.
21 They gave me poison for food,
and for my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.
22 Let their table be a trap for them,
a snare for their allies.
23 Let their eyes be darkened so that they cannot see,
and make their loins tremble continually.
24 Pour out your indignation upon them,
and let your burning anger overtake them.
25 May their camp be a desolation;
let no one live in their tents.
26 For they persecute those whom you have struck down,
and those whom you have wounded, they attack still more.
27 Add guilt to their guilt;
may they have no acquittal from you.
28 Let them be blotted out of the book of the living;
let them not be enrolled among the righteous.
29 But I am lowly and in pain;
let your salvation, O God, protect me.
30 I will praise the name of God with a song;
I will magnify him with thanksgiving.
31 This will please the Lord more than an ox
or a bull with horns and hoofs.
32 Let the oppressed see it and be glad;
you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
33 For the Lord hears the needy,
and does not despise his own that are in bonds.
34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and everything that moves in them.
35 For God will save Zion
and rebuild the cities of Judah;
and his servants shall live there and possess it;
36 the children of his servants shall inherit it,
and those who love his name shall live in it.
Pray…
from the BAS: Blessed are you, God of our hope; you restore the fallen and rebuild the broken walls. Teach us the song of thanksgiving, for you are the strength of your people; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
If you know me, you know that I talk a lot. That might be an understatement. I like to think I talk about weighty matters mostly – but I am also (in my own words) the “Queen of Babble”. Got an awkward silence? I can fill it for you!
Psalm 62 verse 1:
For God alone my soul in silence waits…
Every year I try to take a silent retreat of 3-5 days. I go to Loyola House in Guelph usually. Spend those days in silence, not talking to anyone, even at meals. I love it. It is balm for my soul. It won’t be possible this year – all retreat centres are closed, often being used for other purposes. I will have to figure out something at home, I suspect.
But figure it out I will, because even for a chatterbox extrovert like me, silence is essential. I need to be silent long enough to hear what else is happening. I need to be silent long enough to pray without words, in groans and cries. I need to be silent long enough to feel G-d moving in the deep, and to see what I might not have expected to see or feel.
I am a workaholic. And I know that when that kicks into high gear, it’s because there is grief or pain that I am avoiding. The tears that wake me in the night can be avoided if I lose myself in ministry. And there is so much grief in the world at the moment, not just in my soul.
So silence…and waiting…and trusting that G-d will speak, that still small voice in the quiet…
1 Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
2 From the end of the earth I call to you,
when my heart is faint.Lead me to the rock
that is higher than I;
3 for you are my refuge,
a strong tower against the enemy.
4 Let me abide in your tent for ever,
find refuge under the shelter of your wings. Selah
5 For you, O God, have heard my vows;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.
6 Prolong the life of the king;
may his years endure to all generations!
7 May he be enthroned for ever before God;
appoint steadfast love and faithfulness to watch over him!
8 So I will always sing praises to your name,
as I pay my vows day after day.
Psalm 62
1 For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall never be shaken.
3 How long will you assail a person,
will you batter your victim, all of you,
as you would a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
4 Their only plan is to bring down a person of prominence.
They take pleasure in falsehood;
they bless with their mouths,
but inwardly they curse. Selah
5 For God alone my soul waits in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my deliverance and my honour;
my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
9 Those of low estate are but a breath,
those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
they are together lighter than a breath.
10 Put no confidence in extortion,
and set no vain hopes on robbery;
if riches increase, do not set your heart on them.
11 Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
12 and steadfast love belongs to you, O Lord.
For you repay to all
according to their work.
Pray…
from the BAS: Lord God, in a threatening world we look to you as our rock of hope. Hear us as we pour out our hearts to you, and give us your grace and protection, through your Son Jesus Christ our Lord
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